Hillary Clinton to Host True Crime Podcast: The Clinton Body Count

The show will cover cold case investigations from a unique, first-hand perspective.

In an unexpected move that has left many scratching their heads and watching their backs, former First Lady and perennial political figure Hillary Clinton has announced the launch of her very own true crime/cold case podcast, "The Clinton Body Count." In an era of true crime obsession, where podcasts dissect unsolved murders with the precision of a forensic team, Clinton saw an opportunity to put her own spin on the genre. However, instead of investigating crimes, she'll be reviewing them—specifically those that have allegedly involved members of her own circle, in a twisted effort to capitalize on the rumors and allegations.

"We wanted to take a closer look at some of the most intriguing cold cases out there," Clinton remarked in the podcast's inaugural episode, "and what better way to do that than by revisiting the many mysterious deaths that have surrounded my family and associates over the years?"

Listeners can expect riveting episodes featuring titles like "Vince Foster: Suicide or Silenced?" and "The Mysterious Demise of Seth Rich." Each installment promises to delve into the murky waters of conspiracy theories, with Clinton providing her own unique insights—interspersed with occasional cackles that could make even the most hardened detective recoil in horror.

Of course, the podcast has already stirred controversy. Critics argue it's a new low for the Clintons (which says a lot), attempting to cash in on their dastardly deeds. Plus, now any time someone Googles "Clinton Body Count" they'll be directed to the podcast instead of real investigative journalism. And Chelsea adds little as a co-host. They do admit, however, that the show is riveting and addictive.

"I'm just here to set the record straight," Clinton retorted, as she sipped on a glass of what she assured everyone was just water. "If people want to accuse me of being a mastermind behind a string of mysterious deaths, well, I might as well make a podcast out of it!"

As for whether the show will shed any new light on the cases it covers, that remains to be seen. But one thing's for sure: with "The Clinton Body Count," Hillary Clinton is proving that when life gives you lemons, you squeeze those suckers into a messy, disfigured pulp and bury it in the backyard for the worms so the police will never find it. What are your predictions for this new podcast? Instant hit (pun intended) or offensive flop? Let us know in the comments below!

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