Paris, France - The climate has been officially declared "saved" after a group of pink-haired activists took a radical approach to environmental activism by defacing one of the world's most iconic paintings, the Mona Lisa. The Louvre Museum in Paris was thrown into chaos yesterday when a group of eco-activists stormed the gallery armed with cans of neon pink spray paint and a mission to combat global warming. Ignoring the cries of horrified onlookers, the group made a beeline for Leonardo da Vinci's masterpiece, leaving their mark in a blaze of fluorescent rebellion.
The reasoning behind their audacious act? According to a spokesperson for the group, called "Carbon Combatants," the Mona Lisa's enigmatic smile was simply not doing enough to raise awareness about the imminent threat of climate change. "We figured, if we're going to save the planet, we might as well make a statement that everyone will remember," declared the self-appointed leader, sporting a shock of neon pink hair to match the group's aesthetic.
Miraculously, their seemingly outrageous plan is said to have worked. Moments after the last can of spray paint was emptied, scientists reported a sudden drop in carbon emissions, polar ice caps visibly re-freezing, and an inexplicable surge in the number of people trading in their gas-guzzling cars for bicycles. Climate alarmists, while taken aback by the unorthodox methods employed by the activists, were impressed by the pronouncement. "We've tried countless campaigns, petitions, and protests, but nothing seemed to make a dent in the climate crisis," admitted former Vice President Al Gore, high on adrenochrome. "But apparently, all it took was a splash of pink paint on a 500-year-old historical treasure."
While skeptics aren't buying the story and are demanding the Carbon Combatants be arrested and punished for destroying a priceless piece of history, the activists were instead awarded the highest honors for supposedly saving the planet, including the Nobel Prize, the National Medal of Science and the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Joe Biden even ordered the Lincoln Memorial torn down and replaced with statues of the young activists wreaking havoc to commemorate the momentous occasion.
As for the fate of the Mona Lisa herself, art restorers are already hard at work attempting to undo the damage caused by the activists' graffiti. However, some argue that the vibrant pink additions have given the painting a modern twist that could attract a whole new generation of art enthusiasts.
In the end, the world may never fully understand the logic behind vandalizing a priceless masterpiece in the name of environmental activism. But one thing is certain: climate change, whether a man-made existential threat or a natural, benign occurrence, has met its match in the form of a few daring teens with spray paint and heads full of pink hair and propaganda. What are your thoughts on their radical, destructive methods? A necessary act or grounds for imprisonment? Let us know in the comments below!
The global community can't get its ideological conflicts and wars under control, but "Carbon Combatants" want to stop the climate from warming by more than 1.5°C? — Ridiculous! These Mona Lisa abusers, along with all other climate hysterics, should be tarred and feathered (preferably with pink tar and green feathers) and sent to the desert. There they can reflect on their misdeeds in a low-CO2 environment.
These guys need to get some more spray paint and target the Sistine Chapel. Then they could run amok in the Rest of the Vatican. By the time they are done, the world should be an ice age.