Ivy League Students Accidentally Right For Once, World Shocked
The incident has been likened to rare cosmic alignments and shooting stars.
In a shocking turn of events, it appears that most Ivy League university students, renowned for their deep indoctrination and misinterpretations, have accidentally stumbled upon the correct stance of a random issue in a rare moment of happenstance. Experts and observers alike are flabbergasted, with some even questioning reality as we know it.
The incident occurred during a heated debate at the prestigious underground echo chamber, previously exposed by The Farce Feed. Here students were passionately arguing about the latest social justice trends, intersectionality, and the appropriate use of pig emojis in activist tweets. After one student bonked his head on a light fixture, as if guided by some cosmic force, he actually uttered a coherent and factually accurate statement regarding a relevant, consequential issue, to everyone's amazement.
Professor Harold Horesky, an expert in Political Irony Studies, was present during the miraculous event. "I couldn’t believe my ears," he said, wiping away tears of pride. "These students, bless their little commie hearts, have been batting zero for so long that statistically they were bound to get something right sooner or later. It’s like throwing darts blindfolded and finally hitting the bullseye."
The news spread like wildfire across social media platforms, causing both amusement and existential dread among seasoned pundits. "I don’t know whether to laugh or cry," tweeted political commentator Phucker Gnarlson. "If woke college students just so happen to be right about this, what does that say about the rest of us?"
In response to the unexpected revelation, rival college groups scrambled to claim credit for the breakthrough. "We’ve been tirelessly advocating for this issue for months," declared the Up Is Down Collective in a hastily written press release. "It’s no surprise that our commitment to dismantling the oppressive hegemony of gluten finally paid off."
Meanwhile, conservative think tanks struggled to come to terms with the news. "We’re reevaluating our entire strategy and even our worldview," admitted a spokesperson for the Righteous Right Institute. "If these meddling kids are on to something, maybe we need to rethink our stance on everything from pineapple pizza to UFO disclosure."
As the dust settles and the Ivy League students bask in their accidental glory, one question remains: What will they get wrong next? Only time, and perhaps a healthy dose of satire, will tell. What are your thoughts on this cosmic improbability? Bound to happen or still can't believe it? Let us know in the comments below.
FYI, the mysterious revelation was when anti-Israel protesters began shouting “Fuck Joe Biden” in unison with counter-protesters: https://www.mediaite.com/politics/unity-pro-palestine-and-pro-israel-protestors-chant-fck-joe-biden-in-unison/
Why isn't there news on what that coherent and factually accurate statement regarding a relevant, consequential issue actually was? Damn right wing free speech cancellation and censorship!