Public Shocked to Learn Howard Stern Still on the Air

"I thought he was cancelled decades ago!"

The entertainment world was rocked this week by reports that Howard Stern is still on the air—a revelation met with such bewilderment, some assumed it was a hoax staged by The Onion or possibly one of Stern’s 90+ staff members trying to goose the ratings.

This shocking discovery came as a SiriusXM insider leaked that they would not be renewing Stern’s $100 million per year contract after it expires later this year. But the bigger surprise wasn’t the cancellation — it was the fact that Stern’s show was, apparently, still happening. Live. Multiple days a week. On purpose.

For many former fans, the decline of the “King of All Media” has been less of a crash and more of a decade-long, slow-motion faceplant. Once the fearless, hilarious voice of working-class rebellion — interviewing porn stars, mocking celebrities, and revolutionizing radio — Stern’s relevancy took a nosedive around the time Donald Trump was elected president in 2016. Rather than tap into the moment like the iconoclast he once was, Stern seemed to have a full-blown identity crisis, choosing to spend hours each week angrily denouncing the very same Trump he often welcomed to his studio as an esteemed guest.

By the 2024 election cycle, Stern had devolved from provocateur to preachy PTA dad, flat-out verbally attacking Trump voters and encouraging them to stop listening to his show altogether. A bold strategy for a man whose entire base was built on fart jokes and dudes who consider Flamin’ Hot Cheetos a food group.

Not content with just alienating half of America, Stern’s transformation hit a new low during the COVID-19 pandemic. The once irreverent rebel turned into a germophobic bunker-dweller, broadcasting from a sterile, fear-soaked panic room in the Hamptons (and sometimes Florida), wrapped in more PPE than a level-4 biohazard lab technician. Even now, as big-name guests travel to the SiriusXM studio for interviews, Stern appears on a TV screen with a live video feed from his home studio. He openly shamed anyone who dared to breathe outdoor air without permission and suggested the unvaccinated be denied hospital access entirely — a far cry from the guy who once mocked the government and fought the FCC over freedom of speech. Stern even scolded his own wife on-air for going out in public, and reprimanded his producer, Gary "Baba Booey" Dell'abate, for hugging his own son without a face mask when he returned home from college. *Cringe*

In recent years, entire segments of the Stern Show have devolved into long-winded recurring monologues obsessing over his alleged childhood trauma, long exposés about irrelevant music acts from the ‘60s, and tone-deaf guitar strumming that would make even a stoned frat bro cringe. Recent show guests include his own brother-in-law, and average-Joe computer salesman, and some critics claim the listener phone calls and positive fan feedback emails are mostly staged.

While longtime fans have held on for glimpses of glory from side characters like the “Wack Pack,” Richard Christy, and the occasional unintelligible rant from Bobo, even the most loyal listeners admit the show has become less “shock jock” and more “therapy session for a hermit sell-out.”

Stern’s exit follows hot on the heels of CBS canceling The Late Show and booting fellow Trump-obsessive Stephen Colbert, confirming that America may finally be over the golden age of hyper-partisan media that thought shouting “ORANGE MAN BAD” counted as edgy comedy.

Once a fearless pop culture icon with millions of daily listeners, Howard Stern’s show now resembles a lonely Zoom call hosted by your most neurotic uncle who thinks playing "Smoke on the Water" on acoustic guitar counts as content. His departure marks the end of an era — one that arguably ended years ago, but no one had the heart to tell him.

As the news spread online, reactions ranged from, “Wait, what, he's still alive?” to, “I liked that one Fartman bit.”

One SiriusXM executive reportedly summed it up best:

“We’re grateful for all Howard has done, but it’s time to move on. We checked the listener data and found most of the audience had died. The rest thought they were listening to a rerun from 2019. Every time he played another off-key Beatles cover, we lost 1,000 subscribers and a little piece of our souls. It got to the point where even Beetlejuice stopped returning our calls. We’re looking to replace him with something younger and more relevant… like a dial-up modem playing whale sounds.”

Coming up next on the Stern Show: three hours of complaining about his mother’s tuna salad and a very special performance of “Stairway to Heaven” — stopped and restarted with each wrong note.

Turns out the real surprise isn't that Stern is leaving—it's that he’s still there.

What are your thoughts on SiriusXM reportedly not renewing Howard Stern's contract? Let us know in the comments below!

For a good laugh, check out the anti-Stern podcast Radio Gunk.

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Howard Stern’s iconic radio show is facing cancellation as his $100M Sirius contract nears its end—The Independent