Pedro Pascal to Star in Next 35 Netflix Shows

An executive confirmed Pascal will voice every character in their next animated series, play himself in his own biopic, and replace the ‘N’ in the Netflix logo.

HOLLYWOOD, CA — In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Netflix announced today that actor Pedro Pascal will star in the next 35 shows on their platform, becoming the first actor in history to be legally declared a "streaming omnipresence." From gritty dystopian dramas to quirky rom-coms about artisanal kombucha brewers, Pascal’s chiseled jawline and perfectly trimmed mustache will dominate screens for the foreseeable future. Industry insiders have dubbed it “The Pascaloverse,” while fans and detractors alike wonder if there’s a single project left in Hollywood that doesn’t feature the Mandalorian himself.

From gritty dystopian thrillers and heartwarming queer coming-of-age dramas to culinary documentaries, dating shows, and even a reboot of Teletubbies (Tubbies: The Reckoning, in which Pascal plays all four roles), Pascal will helm every genre imaginable. He’s already filmed 12 of them just this week using an experimental “Pascal Replicator” AI system, though insiders say the real Pedro did all the motion capture himself “because he’s just that committed.”

Pascal’s omnipresence in media has reached absurd heights. You can’t scroll through Netflix, HBO, or even a TikTok feed without his soulful eyes staring back. “I tried watching a nature documentary last night,” said one exasperated viewer, “and there was Pedro, narrating the mating habits of the Galápagos tortoise with a tearful monologue about climate justice.” Whether he’s playing a stoic space dad, a swashbuckling archaeologist, or a brooding barista with a dark past, Pascal is inescapable. But is his relentless casting due to talent, charm, or something else entirely?

The Chilean-American actor has never shied away from broadcasting his extreme progressive views, often diving headfirst into controversial waters. In 2020, in response to the Kyle Rittenhouse case, Pascal famously tweeted, “Joseph Rosenbaum, 36, and Anthony Huber, 27, murdered August 25th, 2020. Rest In Peace.” The tweet conveniently omitted the fact that Rosenbaum was a convicted child sex offender and Huber had a history of violent crimes, raising eyebrows among those who value context over clout. Pascal’s Twitter feed is a veritable left wing manifesto, with gems like comparing conservatives to Nazis and Confederates and accusing J.K. Rowling of “heinous loser behavior” for celebrating a UK Supreme Court ruling defining women by biological sex, not gender identity. “It’s like he’s auditioning for the role of Twitter’s Chief Moral Arbiter,” quipped one user.

His outspokenness has highlighted Hollywood’s selective outrage. While Pascal’s “Star Wars: The Mandalorian” co-star Gina Carano was fired by Disney for comparing cancel culture to the lead-up to Nazi persecution—a clumsy but far less inflammatory statement—Pascal’s Nazi analogies have been met with deafening silence.

Asked whether Pascal’s political leanings have anything to do with his sudden saturation of Hollywood roles, one Netflix producer nervously glanced at a DEI compliance officer before responding: “Absolutely not. Pedro is a transcendent artist, and his identity as a white-passing Latinx progressive with a cheeky smile and a penchant for virtue signaling is purely coincidental.”

The mainstream media, predictably, is in full support of Netflix’s announcement. Variety gushed, “Pedro Pascal’s 35-show takeover is the cultural reset we didn’t know we needed. His empathetic gaze and fearless activism make him the hero of our time.” The Hollywood Reporter swooned, “Pascal’s versatility is unmatched—whether he’s slaying fascists in a sci-fi epic or knitting scarves in a cozy dramedy, he’s the beating heart of Hollywood.” Vulture took it to another level: “Pedro Pascal is not just an actor; he’s a movement, a vibe, a cosmic force of justice wrapped in a flannel shirt.” Meanwhile, BuzzFeed published a quiz titled, “Which Pedro Pascal Netflix Show Are You Based on Your Zodiac Sign?”

Critics, however, are skeptical. “At this rate, Pedro’s going to star in a show about a guy who’s in too many shows,” said a sardonic X post. Others question whether audiences will tire of his omnipresence. “I love Pedro, but I need a break,” admitted a fan. “I’m starting to see his face in my sleep, whispering about intersectionality.”

Doctors across the nation are reporting a mysterious new psychological condition dubbed “Pascal Fatigue”—a neurological disorder marked by confusion, eye-rolling, and attempts at self-harm anytime Pedro Pascal appears in yet another gritty post-apocalyptic streaming drama. Symptoms include involuntary groaning at trailers, instinctively muttering “not again,” and hallucinations in which every actor morphs into a mustachioed Chilean whispering lines about trauma and redemption. One patient was hospitalized after binge-watching four Pascal projects back-to-back, believing she was Pedro Pascal and needed to escort a young lesbian co-star to safety. The CDC recommends limiting daily exposure to Pascal to under 90 minutes and avoiding all contact with “BuzzFeed thirst edits.”

As Pascal prepares to dominate Netflix’s entire catalog—from a musical about ethical non-monogamy to a thriller about a vegan vigilante—one thing is clear: Hollywood’s love affair with its favorite “Latinx” progressive prince shows no signs of slowing down. So grab your popcorn, mute his Twitter/X account, and brace for the next 35 seasons of the Pascaloverse. What are your thoughts on Pedro Pascal appearing in so many shows and films as of late? A testament to his talent or a result of progressive “pick-me” pandering? Let us know in the comments below!

Thanks for reading! Please consider a $5 monthly/$45 yearly subscription for access to our private chat featuring bonus content and previews, plus submit your ideas and input! Your generous support helps further our mission to roast the establishment, mainstream media and modern day absurdities. “Like” and share if you enjoy our content. We appreciate your support!

Feed The Farce:

Venmo: @thefarcefeed

Cash App: $thefarcefeed

Buy Me a Coffee