"Midget Mafia" Target Peter Dinklage Over Snow White Fiasco
"His reckless comments cost little people acting jobs," said "Lil'" Louie Esposito.
In a dramatic turn of events that could only be described as the plot twist of the century, the so-called "Midget Mafia" has put actor Peter Dinklage on notice following his recent comments about Disney’s upcoming remake of Snow White. The film, titled "Snow Ain’t White and the Seven CGI Atrocities," features Latina actress Rachel Zegler in the titular role and a full roster of computer-animated dwarfs.
Dinklage, best known for his role as Tyrion Lanister in Game of Thrones, criticized the original film’s portrayal of dwarfs. He said it feels outdated and distasteful, as a little person himself. Many speculate that this prompted Disney, now ultra PC, to replace real actors with CGI versions in the supposedly live-action remake.
This caught the ire of the Midget Mafia, a familial network of unsavory dwarfs started in the 1950s in Littler Italy. Known for their dramatic flair and fierce loyalty to their own, they explain their use the term "midget" as an affectionate term of endearment amongst each other, but advise others against it, acknowledging the current-day offensiveness of the word. They blame Dinklage for Disney's switch to CGI for the seven dwarfs and, consequently, the potential loss of job opportunities for little person actors. Their leader, the enigmatic Godfather "Bite-Sized" Bruno, reportedly took Dinklage’s remarks as a personal affront, given that the original Snow White was his eighth favorite film, right behind The Wizard of Oz.
Events were set in motion with plans to have Dinklage kidnapped and shipped to Sicily in a knapsack. However, the plot thickened when Tiny Tony Tiramisu, a bookie and key figure within the Midget Mafia, decided to "rat" on the organization (or in his case—mouse). He made a deal in exchange for protection from retribution, indemnity from prosecution, and a much-needed step ladder. Tiramisu revealed the Mafia’s plans and their deep-seated grievances against Dinklage to the authorities. This unexpected move has brought the organization’s secretive machinations to light and provided the public with an inside look at the criminal underbelly within the dwarfism community.
According to Tiramisu, their displeasure was not only about loss of job opportunities for little people, but also the CGI dwarfs’ freakishly odd quality. “The family felt Dinklage’s comments were reckless,” he revealed. “And let’s be honest—the CGI dwarfs are pure nightmare fuel and look like they belong in a horror flick. It’s an insult to the original film. Speaking of which, Zegler has been trashing the original as 'weird' and outdated, promising a modern adaptation for a modern audience. UGH! And who did her hair for the role, Ray Charles? Not to mention, Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen? Terrible casting. Who's gonna believe she's jealous of Zegler's looks?"
The film, plagued by negative feedback and multiple reshoots, is said to have cost Disney nearly half a billion dollars and needs to be a major blockbuster to turn a profit. But by the looks of things it's set to be a total flop, with the recently released first trailer being panned by critics and ratio'd on Youtube, currently sitting at 68K likes to 685K dislikes. And lead actress Rachel Zegler hasn't helped matters. Besides her aforementioned snide comments deriding the original 1937 animated film, Zegler has shoe-horned divisive political statements into her social media posts meant to promote the film. Some fans have vowed to boycott over her outspoken support of Palestine, while others are boycotting over Israeli actress Gal Gadot. Only time will tell how it does at the box office but one thing's for sure: Disney needs a miracle to save this heaping, steaming pile of modern adaptation girl-boss trash.
The public revelation of the Midget Mafia’s plans has sparked a frenzy of media interest and speculation. With Tiramisu’s confessions now out in the open, their elaborate schemes and dramatic intentions have become the subject of intense scrutiny. As the saga unfolds, the focus now shifts to whether Dinklage will address the Mafia’s grievances or if any further dramatic developments will arise. For the time being, Tiny Tony Tiramisu can rest easier, having secured his safety and a step ladder that will help him reach new heights—literally and metaphorically. What are your thoughts on the upcoming Disney Snow White adaptation? Let us know in the comments below!
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Context:
The Snow White Remake is in Trouble, and Disney is Scrambling to Save It --Geeks & Gamers
Considering what Disney did to Star Wars, wrecking Snow White will be of relatively little consequence. I suppose the plot will revolve around the fact that Snow White is oblivious to the Evil Queen's pronouns.. but, wait... an evil QUEEN? Isn't that so antedeluvian? Doesn't she need to be the Good Transgender, while Snow White is the EVIL DOMESTIC HOUSEWIFE. I mean, maintaining the hearth and nurturing- what is more evil than that? Snow White should be donning jeans and a tee-shirt with "Trans-Power" emblazoned across it and educating the dwarves on how to politically correct. Forget about mining crummy jewels. They need to start wearing dresses and makeup and reading stories from The Odd Couple to children in libraries across the Kingdom, so that it can be turned into a Republic with equal representation for all pronouns- though some are more equal than others, as George Orwell would put it. And when the Good Transgender asks "mirror, mirror on the wall..." wait... a mirror. No, not at Disneyland, because mirrors convey too much truth. No, the New Script calls for the Good Transgender to consult the Google Oracle, and ask "Who is the most Sensative and Compassionate in the land" and of course the answer is Reformed Tranny Snow White and They, them, theirs army of Drag Queens. And so the hissy fit of the millennium ensues and the plot thickens.
Disney hidden history,
https://dfreality.substack.com/p/the--of-magic