Klaus Schwab, the enigmatic founder of the World Economic Forum, recently decided to take his culinary skills to the internet. Known for his global influence and knack for totalitarianism, Schwab surprised the world by uploading an online video titled "Cooking Crickets with Klaus: A Gastronomic Revolution."
Schwab sported his trademark serious expression and began the video with an air of authority: "Ladiez and ghzentlemen, it is my distinct honor to prezent to you a new era of sustainable dining. In line vith ze Great Reset, ve must embrace innovative food sources for a greener future. Today, I command peons ze world over… LET ZEM EAT CRICKETS!" as he cackled menacingly.
With the wave of a virtual spatula, a bowl of chirpy crickets appeared on the countertop. Schwab's eyebrows raised almost imperceptibly, as if he was trying to convince even himself of his newfound culinary enthusiasm. "Zees crickets are ze solution to our impending food crisis," he proclaimed. "High in protein and low in environmental impact, zey are truly ze delicacy of tomorrow!"
With the increasingly difficult-to-conceal excitement of a tyrant subverting a constitution, Schwab began his cricket culinary adventure. He carefully measured out cricket flour and cricket milk (yes, that's a thing apparently), all the while lecturing about the need for a "Fourth Industrial Kitchen Revolution." His robotic AI-controlled sous-chef whirred in agreement, creating a rather disturbing cacophony of mechanical sounds and cricket chirps.
But the pièce de résistance was yet to come. As Schwab stylishly dropped a handful of crickets onto his forearm, he channeled his inner "Salted-Bug Bae." The crickets cascaded into the simmering stew below, with a finesse that would make the original Salt Bae himself proud. "I shall bestow crickets upon our feast," Schwab declared, a glimmer of megalomania in his eye.
The internet, naturally, exploded. Social media was flooded with reactions ranging from mildly concerned to downright frightened. Others were disgusted to the point of losing their lunch. Memes of Schwab adorned with cricket accessories and robotic spatulas trended globally. And of course, someone created a "Cricket Schwab" filter, allowing users to drop virtual crickets onto their own cooking videos.
Critics and crickets were quick to point out that Schwab's cricket adventure might be a bit too "forward-looking" for current culinary tastes. One Twitter/X user wrote, "I'm all for sustainability, but I'm not sure I'm ready to cricket-fy my dinner just yet. Baby steps, Klaus, baby steps."
In the end, Klaus Schwab's attempt to merge his global influence with culinary instruction created a truly memorable internet moment. While the world might not be rushing to drop critters onto the banquet tables of their lives, at least we can all agree that this was a dish best served with a side of satire. How do you feel? Bon appétit or F* the WEF? Let us know in the comments below!
Ha, the problem is no farce goes by without giving the globalists their next project. You might be recruited to be their idea man!
Actually I used to like crickets, they are an excellent snack, and if you go to Mexico and have a wander around Chiapas and the great pyramids of MontAlban , you should buy a bag of them cause they are a great munchies.
Taste just like shrimps, but actually better.
About the shwab, it is now a terrible and extremely versatile swearing word
Example
Are you a completate shwab?
Or
You fuc.ing piece of shwab.
Or
Go shwab your self.
Ecc. ecc.
But back to the crickets, they are excellent also with meat burritos ;)
Ho and don’t eat shwab, it’s toxic!