EXCLUSIVE: Hunter Biden to Replace Joe

From laptops to lapdog: Hunter Biden's presidential bid and the elite cabal of true believers.

Jul 07, 2024

In a revelation that is sure to send shockwaves throughout the political landscape, The Farce Feed has uncovered a clandestine plot to replace President Joe Biden with his scandal-ridden son, Hunter Biden, as the 2024 Democratic presidential nominee. The scheme has reportedly been in the works for months now, masterminded by a secret commission including Hillary Clinton, George Soros, Barack Obama, and Marvel Comics' Doctor Doom.

According to our inside source, whistleblower Kevin Kissinger (no relation), the plan to supplant Joe Biden was implemented following his disastrous debate performance against Donald Trump, which saw Joe stumbling and stammering like an outclassed boxer in the twelfth round. The commission allegedly decided that Joe was "a few fries short of a Happy Meal," and the time had come for a bold and unprecedented change.

The general consensus among Democrat elites is that Hunter Biden is the perfect replacement and an obvious no-brainer. His criminal history and checkered past should actually be an asset to the party and resonate with young Democrat voters and marginalized groups, they surmise. Criminal convictions didn't seem to hurt Trump and they certainly took notice. "We know degeneracy is celebrated is modern American culture," said Doctor Doom, voice distorted and robotic. "So why not lean into it?"

Hunter Biden, known for his infamous laptop saga, allegations of money laundering and influence peddling, and videos of crack/cocaine use and encounters with prostitutes, has now been deemed the best man to "finish her off," as Obama put it.

They reportedly orchestrated a media campaign to turn the public against Joe Biden. Major news outlets began questioning his cognitive abilities and highlighting his gaffes. The coordinated effort culminated in a barrage of articles and op-eds calling for Joe to step down in favor of "a younger version."

The commission even crafted a catchy campaign slogan for Hunter: "A New HIGH for America." They have a press released prepared, stating, "Hunter's unwavering commitment to integrity, steadfast moral compass, and exemplary ethical standards make him the ideal candidate to lead our nation with honor and distinction." And the official campaign song is "F*ck the World” by Insane Clown Posse.

Our source within the commission provided shocking details of the secret meetings. "They genuinely believe in Hunter Biden," he said. "They're convinced his inner demons will guide him accordingly, in preparation for 'Phase three: Total Annihilation.' There was even an ominous induction ritual for Hunter involving hooded robes, ancient chants, and a diary marked 'Ashley' on an alter with candles."

As the 2024 election season heats up, the revelation of this secret plot promises to make it one of the most unforgettable campaigns in American history. With Hunter Biden stepping into his father's shoes and taking on Trump, the political landscape is set for an unpredictable ride. Whether this audacious move will pay off remains to be seen. One thing is certain: the Hunter Biden campaign, backed by a secretive alliance of political kingpins and real-life super villains, is bound to keep America on the edge of its seat, craving for more like an addict who smoked his last stash. What are your thoughts on this bombshell revelation? Perfect choice or colossal misstep? And what other songs might they have chosen for the campaign? Let us know in the comments below!