Chicago, Portland and San Francisco Team Up in Diabolical 'AXIS OF FILTH'
Their treachery knows no bounds.
In an unscheduled, unprecedented announcement today, three infamous US cities - Chicago, Portland and San Francisco - have joined forces to create an alliance they've aptly named the AXIS OF FILTH (AoF). With a history of failed progressive policies, crime, drugs, homelessness, and the occasional missing shopping cart, these cities have decided to take their unique brand of chaos to the global stage.
In a press conference that was held behind the dumpster of a local fast-food joint due to a scheduling mix-up, the mayors of these cities proudly announced their united front against morality, decency, law and order, and capitalism. Mayor Brandon Johnson of Chicago declared, "We've been the underdogs for far too long. It's time to show the world that there's more to us than just closed businesses and carjackings."
The joint declaration included bold statements such as, "We may not have safety, but we have thousands of 'young scholars' high on fentanyl at the ready," and "We're coming to take what's rightfully ours, and soon the world will know the treacherous wrath of the AXIS OF FILTH!"
The mayors are convinced that their unique approach to governance will revolutionize the global economic landscape and advance social justice causes. They've even released a catchy anthem, "Looter's Paradise," which has quickly become popular with degenerates and dregs of society.
Their war on decency, however, has encountered some hiccups. The mayors initially attempted to host a worldwide virtual summit, but the live stream was plagued with technical difficulties. Apparently, the hackers they hired from a neighboring suburb weren't as skilled as they claimed and accidentally exposed the secret plan to attack Red Lodge, a small, quiet, peaceful town in Montana.
Undeterred, AoF has decided to take a grassroots approach to their campaign. Their plan involves sending teams of pigeons armed with leaflets promoting their "Filthy Fundamentals" to the world's financial districts. However, most of these pigeons have been distracted by discarded sandwich wrappers, leaving the important task of spreading the message to seagulls, who are notorious for having the attention span of a goldfish.
As the world watches this unlikely alliance unfold, one thing is clear: the AXIS OF FILTH is determined to leave their, well, stain on US history. And while their grand plans may be met with mockery and a chorus of belly laughs, one can't help but admire the sheer audacity and pungent stench.
Finally, we here at The Farce Feed are NOT in collusion with AoF and deny all such allegations.