Archeologists Dismiss Newly Discovered Spaceship Mural Beneath Great Pyramid
"It's clearly a depiction of the Pharaoh’s favorite hat or the little-known frisbee God 'Diskobek,'" said Prof. Hugh Jasole.
CAIRO, EGYPT – In what should have been the most groundbreaking discovery in human history, a team of excavators recently uncovered an astonishing ancient mural in a hidden chamber deep beneath the Great Pyramid of Giza. It depicts what appears to be a sleek, metallic spaceship constructing the pyramid itself by zapping limestone blocks into place with laser beams. Accompanying the mural are hieroglyphics proudly proclaiming, “Giza Power Plant, 12,475 B.C., Property of Atlantis.” Naturally, this groundbreaking evidence of extraterrestrial contractors was met with swift and resolute denial from the academic establishment. Mainstream archeologists, true to form, have once again dismissed the find with all the intellectual curiosity of a camel.
Leading the charge is Professor Hugh Jasole, a bespectacled stalwart of conventional archeology known for his unshakeable faith in the “least conspicuous tombs” theory. He was quick to offer his airtight scholarly assessment of the discovery. “This is clearly a misinterpretation,” Jasole declared at a hastily assembled press conference, adjusting his tweed jacket with an air of smug certainty. “What we’re looking at here is either a depiction of Pharaoh Khufu’s favorite hat or an ode to the little-known frisbee god Diskobek, who was terrible at sports and branding. Any resemblance to a UFO building a pyramid with laser beams is purely coincidental and, quite frankly, absurd.” As he finished his statement, onlookers gasped as his pupils briefly morphed into vertical reptilian-like slits before he blinked them back to normal, muttering something about “dry contacts.”
Despite overwhelming evidence that history may be far older and stranger than we’ve been told, the dismissal is par for the course for mainstream archeology, a field increasingly seen as a stubborn old boys’ club clinging to outdated textbooks like life rafts in a sea of inconvenient evidence. While alternative historians gain millions of followers online—pointing to anomalies like precision-cut stones and astronomical alignments at sites like Göbekli Tepe, Puma Punku, Machu Picchu and the Pyramids themselves—Jasole and his ilk remain steadfast, brushing off anything that doesn’t fit their “sandals, ramps and ropes” storyline. “Next, they’ll say the Sphinx was a giant cat toy,” Jasole scoffed, ignoring the fact that his own colleagues once argued the pyramids were just really ambitious grain silos.
And speaking of the Great Pyramid, let’s talk about the elephant in the room, which defies conventional explanation. At 481 feet tall with 2.3 million limestone blocks weighing between 2 and 80 tons each, this architectural behemoth was constructed with such precision that you couldn’t slide a credit card between its stones. Some of the heaviest granite blocks, hauled from over 500 miles away, weigh as much as a fully loaded semi-truck and were hoisted 141 feet into the air—purportedly by sweaty primitive slaves with nothing but grit, determination, and a suspiciously perfect understanding of mathematics and engineering. The pyramid’s four sides are aligned almost flawlessly with the cardinal points of Earth—north, south, east, and west—off by mere fractions of a degree but may have been perfect in its time. Even more mind-boggling, the mathematical equation Pi is baked into its dimensions, with the perimeter-to-height ratio eerily set to 2π. The structure also encodes the Earth’s circumference and radius in its measurements and sits smack dab in the center of the planet’s landmass, making it not just a monument, but a structure embedded with a cosmic significance that we are only beginning to understand.
This has fueled the “lost civilization” theory, which posits that a highly advanced society—possibly with help from other worldly visitors—crafted these megalithic wonders in pre-history before a global cataclysm wiped them out. You know, the kind of thing all ancient myths coincidentally describe. "The Giza Power Plant mural only adds to the intrigue," said alternative historian Randall Hancock. "Was it aliens, Atlanteans, or a combo of both? The evidence suggests humanity’s story is far wilder than the sanitized version peddled by tweed-wearing gatekeepers. Studying these mysteries might just teach us a thing or two about surviving our own cycle of evolution—assuming we don’t blow up the planet first."
As the debate rages on, Professor Jasole remains unfazed. “Spaceships? Atlantis? Preposterous,” he chuckled, sipping his Earl Grey tea. “Next thing you know, they’ll claim Santa Clause built Stonehenge. I’d stake my tenure on it.” Somewhere beneath Giza, a reptilian eye just ominously winked. What are your thoughts on ancient history and the origins of mankind? Case closed or unsolved mystery? Let us know in the comments below!
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Egyptian Pyramid Discovery Shakes Up Everything We Thought We Knew—Medium
With that professor's name ! you can't go wrong.
Got me chuckling from the mere mention of my favorite minor diety, the little known Frisbee god, Diskobec. Good job.
Whatever the origin, the math, engineering, and logistics involved should humble the smug bureaucrats who had 10 million people over 120 years old still on the social security rolls, or maybe the rocket scientists in NASA who had to hire a private citizen to rescue their astronauts. Just saying, maybe we don't know what we don't know, or are smuggly over confident in the surety of what we think we know.
Dick Minnis